Tuesday 31 December 2013

NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS

If everybody jumps in the well, we dont have to
if everyone drinks and gets hangovers, we dont have to,
if everyone parties on New Year, it may be just a social creed,
we dont have to do what everyone else does if we dont want to
BEING HAPPY is about what we need to feel positive inside us
some people feel lonely in parties but happy in dreams by themselves







When I was a kid, I never remember celebrating any new year. Then, as I entered teens , suddenly the western festivals became a priority. It offered interaction with the fashionable crowds and fun beyond the ties of family.
I used to be a shy kid till college came about. Then, suddenly started pouring invitations to parties, dances and dates. I started going out with friends but my boyfriend was from another town. So, while all my girlfriends flirted around, I would only interact as much as was decent. That made me feel lonely in crowds.In fact, I only enjoyed the dancing , though I could never dance without drinking a bit. I liked the dancing because I could flow with the rhythm, and since I was very shy, I could never flow till I drank.
However, the loneliness was intense when there was no dancing. We used to laugh together as friends but I always missed my soul mate very much. However, I went whenever there was an invitation because I liked to be fashionable then and the kids were fun to be with because they laughed on nothing.. Besides, not going only meant staying at home and getting scolded. So, it was more fun going to parties than not going.
 
Then, once I got married , there was a huge disappointment since I discovered the man was different than I thought he was. Coping with marriage,in laws, lack of money etc. was a blow and then I became pregnant.I was happy when my son was born but due to side effects of vaccinations, my son was diagnosed with autism, and he just refused to interact with anybody.
He would not talk , not respond and he preferred sitting in a corner by himself. I started sitting in corners to identify and interact with him. Then, I started meditating because I had to find reason for justifying his behaviour.
 
Now, I am so peaceful alone that people suck my energy. If I have to go to  a party, I come back feeling drained of life force.I suddenly realized that all those parties or glittering dresses could not give me the fulfilment I feel by being with God or the peace I get being in my happy thoughts alone.
When I am alone, I can smile freely but when I am with somebody , I have to hear their problems and feel unhappy for them or I have to smile and praise them on meaningless things. If I drink, I lose balance and cannot meditate in fresh air mentally. That makes me negative.
 
It feels nicer to stay in a happy mental state than pretend forced laughter on empty conversations. It feels relaxing to just party by yourself or with a soulmate who truly likes your company, than smile forcibly to meet courtesies.It is very boring to live for others when you can be happy living in yourself without anyone judging you. Dresses or food or drinks or cigarettes give temporary satisfaction but more headaches.
Peace of mind comes from feeling fresh and positive in the mind. The company which truly gives us joy is that who accepts us unconditionally and loves being in our presence. Being happy is when you can smile with freedom and feel loved in your whole being , body and soul.Redefining Happiness has been one of the most enriching experiences of my lifetime.
 

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