Public opinion has a significant impact oh how we base our decisions, especially if we live in a society like India.
India is known for its family tradition, conservatism, joint families, rituals, geeks and illiteracy.We needed to regenerate the self esteem of Indian culture during the freedom movement to evoke people to rebel .
However, everything that is fair during love and war may not remain as fair after the war is over.
Today, our joint families and strict marriage institutions are the most blocking structures to an economic spurt. To be a part of that system, we cannot be free to be ourselves. The need to please others becomes more important to maintain peace than fostering expression of the soul.
Joint families are praised for the support to children. However, though, children are supposed to have the support of grand parents in joint families, women usually find the system suffocating on personal expression, which makes them grumble on other irrelevant issues. The men seem to keep their soul needs aside in order to fulfill their duties to parents and meeting responsibilities not relevant to their professional growth or soul evolution. Hence, both men and women keep feeling sacrificed to meet demands of a structure they get entangled in .The marriage appears rosy in the beginning but soon starts feeling like a rope around the neck due to all the traditional euphoria attached with it ,which you cannot throw off.
It would be so much easier if we could combine old age homes with orphanages, along with professional care-takers so that both kids and old people feel entertained but where personal ego would not be involved in rearing children.
Several marriages continue literally because of fear of public opinion. Men find it too cumbersome to break an economic set up to find understanding and happiness for themselves. Daughters do not want to go back to their parents house because parents are afraid of society. It is as if marriage is considered a professional job for the girl and if she comes back, she is jobless and homeless.
Women constantly feel like a burden on their parents and husbands .Parents spend huge amount of money on the weddings instead of giving the money to their daughters in hand so that they could live with self respect, instead of depending totally on other people for support.
Partying, decoration, dressing and jewellery are taken as prestige issues . Huge amounts are spent on these superficial things of display on one day of the wedding. The display becomes more important than free breathing space for the girl for a life time. Even if dowry is given, it is usually the boy's family which has a right over it. The couple by themselves are not given a priority about how they want to spend the money wasted on partying by the parents and inlaws.
So, you virtually give your daughter away to people who she has never been with on the sole factor of trust which are anyways, rare in today's world. After that the daughter is bade good bye and she is supposed to adjust to the new house, food, clothing, spending crushing all her dreams only because she is a girl. The boy is supposed to look after the girl within his income even if his needs are not in tune with the girls' demands.
The women themselves feel they would defame their parents if they return and look foolish in society. Men also compromise with women who do not care to understand them or love them in order to maintain a social image. A standard of living which gives no happiness to the soul becomes more important than feeling free, loved and respected. Usually, the children also dis-respect the parents as they imitate the dominating members of the family. So, happiness of life which emerges from experiencing laughter , freedom to be, and appreciation for positive points become sidelined in the constant abuse inflicted by dark,negative people of the house who are in dominating positions. Slavery continues at the emotional levels because of fear of breaking chains of luxury which you do not need.
The same logic of slavery applies to jobs as to marriages. Men get into marriage and professions, to meet demands of success. Once in the job, they may realize that this is not what they wanted to do. But they continue because they get caught in a trap of money, luxury, social image, fame , adulation etc. They continue with a set up where they feel constantly bored or suffocated only because of fear of what other people will think if they leave.
Now, how does society matter over your personal freedom? Are you a conditioned slave ?
When we get used to a set up - be it having a car, a mobile phone, luxury, good clothes, pizzas and burgers, movies etc. we need to be aware that we use these things to get pleasure. Things are meant to serve us. We are not the servants of things, food, liquor, partying, clothes or houses and cars.
The pleasure we get from indulging in glitter or luxury, is our escape from drudgery and boredom.
When we break free , we can easily adapt to another way of life , as well. The standard of living we get used to is not enslaving because when our life is less stressful , we do not need the same kinds of pleasure.
For example, if you are in a bad marriage and you feel suffocated living with your spouse, you would often need to eat out, shop around, drink and party to make up for the lack of love in your life. But, If you are with a partner who sexually satisfies you and makes you feel desired, understood and loved' you would be happy spending your free time with him or her or thinking of him or her , than using money to vent out your frustration. The core point to note is that even if you use the money you earn to spend on drinking, eating out and partying but do not have peace in your house or love in your life, your pain does not reduce much with the partying and maintaining a high standard of living.
Your social image, expensive clothes, fancy cars and fake smiles do not compensate for the lack of respect in the eyes of your spouse.In your core, you feel worthless, unloved and hated . The negative thoughts you have behind the glamour you portray are the feelings which reach the soul.
Your sacrifice for keeping other people happy usually makes you create more negativity within yourself and the environment. You make yourself sad by constantly compromising. And, you make your spouse sad by forcing him or her to live with you. You may claim that the other person's survival depends on your support but how can you give happiness when you radiate negativity as a soul. You cannot give any happiness to a person by hating him or her in principle. If there is no understanding or sexual desirability in your marriage, you can only help yourself and the spouse by freeing him or her from your energy. Your happiness is in freedom from mental abuse and sexual rejection not in forcing yourself on like a ritual.
If you do not think alike with your spouse or your boss or your parents, and you continue with that set up because you feel you have no financial alternative, then you have to overtime, focus on moving out and become immune emotionally. You cannot feel negative by staying on helplessly as that would aggravate the vicious circle of negativity you are caught in. Even if your financial situation dips when you move out, you higher levels of freedom and peace will compensate for the lack of luxury in your life.
Man is not a slave of the machine. The machine is a slave of the man. We cannot let our need for luxury over rule our needs for sexual and creative fulfillment It is more happy to live in peace and have the space to smile , by being free of the need to answer people who mentally abuse, than compromise your soul for having a life of luxury. The luxuries will not satisfy your inner cravings. They will only pull you into a mirage of needing more because the satisfaction you seek cannot come from external glitter.
Your social image, partying and friends help to give you company when you are lonely. But, if you feel loved, complete , sexually satisfied and creatively utilized, then you do not need to maintain an exterior image to attract friendship. If you spend more than your budget allows on eating, drinking and making merry; then , you may get people's company but you cannot feel loved in your core.That is because the people only reduce your boredom, but to be happy, you have to let go of your negative choices in life which create the boredom.
Staying in a job or marriage only to make a good public image is suicidal for the soul. Overtime, the light from your life will go away and you would become more stressed and diseased , compromising with every breath you take. Then, even your coffee shops, discos and expensive designer wear will have no impact on your constant feeling on inner sadness; but a freedom from that set up will immediately boost your spirits.
Re beginning of life always appears tough. But, if you are in a jailed set up, you have to break free your own chains and go into the Garden of Eden.You may have got used to compromising in the jail but as long as you are sad, it means that you are losing out in your soul purpose.
At the end of the life, you , as a soul , would look back and review your life. If you die feeling helpless, you would feel like a failure however hard you may work at jobs which bore you from your insides. The soul incarnates to move to a higher positive frequency and if your choices are such that you feel sad with your life, you devolve to a negative soul frequency. It does not matter whether you sacrifice or kill to make dark forces happy. Pampering negative people is devolutionary for the soul seeking to spread light. As long as you are negative, and encourage other negative people to rule over you, you spread unhappiness and devolve.
What matters is that you are truthful within yourself and do not pamper people who are selfish or abusive in conduct only because they are your family or friends or colleagues. Your light spreads by being happy and clear in your own soul light, not by being impure by following traditional beliefs which may have gone redundant in function.
Other people do not come and live your life in your place. So, basing your judgments on what they think can be foolish from the perspective of evolving as a soul, especially if you harm genuinely honest people for the sake of pleasing dark forces. Your inability to judge a pure soul from a negative soul reflects as your karmic weakness.
If you try to meet the requirements of your livelihood over your needs of love or peace, the money you earn from the job will not help you be happy because the extent of negativity you create in your life and the lives of others by your stress will make the money lose its value as a means of security. Your unhappiness will spread the negative virus of feeling bad to all those who you talk to vent out your frustration. Also, by staying in marriages where you disagree with your spouse, you may harm children more than protect them as the negative soul would also lower the children's confidence. The negative feelings you indulge in by feeling helpless or sad and the inability to protect the pure souls like children from negative fathers or mothers - reflects on your heath, mental anxiety and increasing hospital or liquor bills..
Public opinion matters only if you look at other people for your sense of right or wrong. If you connect to God, meditate regularly and can develop your own sense of right and wrong, from God's perspective of evolution , then you can lead people instead of following them. Mass consciousness evolves and India is considered a backward, ritualistic country because of its so called 'Parampara ', which is blocking on personal space and freedom of expression.
Social consciousness evolves with time and if we observe, in richer , progressive countries, family ties are not as strong as in India. The state takes over more responsibility as economic ties do not bind people in suffocating set ups of mutual adjustment.
As is given in the book CREATION OF HAPPINESS : THE ENERGY WAR, a soul's perspective :
Our beliefs about life are often conditioned such that we get tuned into suppressing our negative feelings for the sake of maintaining a positive exterior front. However, our positive self talk fails to help us if we feel negative within, irrespective of how it should be as per our beliefs and conventions.
For example, if we are in a marriage (or in a job) where we have several differences with our partner, we may tell ourselves repeatedly that we are coping up happily but go on feeling sad within. The negative feelings would reach our soul, not what we tell ourselves consciously, since the soul only feels us at an energy level; it cannot hear our self rationalization.
When we cheat our soul, we feel internally helpless and our bounce of life drops because the soul is like the filament of a bulb. It keeps getting its power from the main source of Life, through invisible energy circuits, which connect the soul to its Higher Self.
If the focus of the body is on negativity, these energy circuits get clogged and the connection of the bulb to the source of light gets weakened.
The soul can no longer connect to the Light and hence, it no longer feels positive. Its frequency lowers.
Like a fused bulb filament, it feels trapped inside the body, unable to connect to or radiate life force. However, unlike the machine filament, the soul doesn’t permanently die. It has a unique consciousness, and the power to revive through exercise of its will.
When the soul feels blocked it tries to restore back to its original frequency. To raise its frequency, it has to reconnect to the main source of Light.
To reconnect to the light, it has to clear its energy circuits by removing all thoughts and beliefs which make it focus on the negative. Hence, our soul tries to break that structure around us, which forces us to focus on the negative aspects of life.
For example, the soul which feels blocked in a marriage or in a job would try to remove this obstacle which it perceives is the cause of lowering its frequency. Thus, irrespective of our positive self-talk, our soul energy would pull us subconsciously to break the marriage or leave the job.
If we ignore our subconscious pull, we would go on feeling sad. Overtime, due to feeling sad, we would develop mental and physical diseases, as there would be a consistent focus on stress and release of negative hormones in the body. The negative feelings would keep lowering the soul frequency, and our situation would turn from bad to worse as we go on reinforcing our focus on the negative situation.
The only way to help our soul feel positive would be to make ourselves feel good, not merely tell ourselves that we feel okay. Feeling good internally would be a more honest experience and would necessitate changing a negative pattern of thinking or working or living.
To feel good, we would need to release illusory fears of survival, which may be the reason for us to want to continue living in the negative experience. Or we may have to break persistent, harmful habits which create problems in our job or marriage like laziness, impatience, rigidity of thinking, refusal to adopt positive beliefs, lack of self-discipline etc. In either case, feeling good within would require learning of soul lessons, failing which we would continue feeling negative.